THE Geek Hierarchy

This is the official* Geek Hierarchy, as determined by the students of Goucher College, sometime between 2000 and 2003. It was carefully devised to ensure that we considered all forms of geekdom.

Before you begin reading this, please note that ALL people fall someplace inside the geek hierarchy. Placing folks at their rightful place on the scale is a matter of art more than science, and requires a detailed knowledge of the person’s personality, their strengths and their weaknesses. Another important concept is that ABILITY to be social may not be matched by DESIRE. True member of the upper ranks of the Geek Hierarchy may not deign to grace lower ranks with their companionship, and this deserved haughtiness is not, at their heights, a character flaw. It is a strength.

The scale is usually told from “low ranking” to “high ranking”. If you have any additions to the scale, feel free to comment to email me, but keep in mind that original Geek Hierarchy Development Team Members have ultimate and final say.

So we begin.

NERD: Nerds are the low end of the scale. These are your classic social misfits. They have between zero and one topics in which they can naturally converse, their social field is limited to those who share their lone topic, and they rarely make any effort to learn or understand other people. Their capacity for new knowledge is severely limited by their inability to cross-reference information outside their field with information inside of it, thus created new paths in their brain. They may be deep, but they are so narrow that their total volume is essentially irrelevant.

Examples: Comic Book Guy, your classic high school jock, that teacher or professor who can barely dress themselves despite being quite good in their field are all textbook examples of nerds.

DWEEB: Dweebs are a little known footnote in the Geek Hierarchy. Often a transitional state, an artifact of a young person’s mental development, very few people get stay their lives in the Dweeb state. The Dweeb is essentially a Nerd who has realized that there is more to life than just one thing. They have begun to take the essential steps to expanding their horizons, but their complete lack of experience or understanding or capabilities makes it painful to interact with them. Treat them gently, they are usually just trying to better themselves

Examples: I can’t think of any at this time.

DORK: Really, this is where most people fall. A Dork is someone with a topic or two at which they specialize and a couple more areas in which they are capable of some understanding, though not mastery. Dork may be a transitional stage, and if this is the case than the Dork will show interest about many subjects, but will as yet be unable to translate that interest into real capability. Dorks with an overabundance of confidence can be REALLY ANNOYING when they reach this point, because they are the ones that epitomize the classic know-it-all. Many Dorks, however, are perfectly happy with their limited fields of vision.

Examples: John and Jane Doe. Almost everyone you meet falls into this category.

GEEK: Geeks are the people who are curious about everything, and they have enough knowledge and raw ability to turn that curiosity into real knowledge with some time and effort. Geeks, when they choose, can use their mental flexibility move through different social groups and fields of study. A geek is a three dimensional person; their personality field is broad, and deep at several key points. When they set their mind to doing something, it will nearly always be accomplished.

Examples: Most of my family and friends falls into this category. I don’t want to name names, and I’m having trouble thinking of famous or stereotype examples…

SUPERGEEK: Supergeeks are like Geeks, only more so. Their depths are deeper. Their widths are wider. Supergeeks have enough capacity and built knowledge that there is basically nothing that they cannot do essentially from the moment they attempt it. They may not be perfect at their first attempt, but their sheer volume of character will often mean that they are better (and more creative, if the field allows for it) than Nerds, Dweebs, and Dorks in their own fields of choice.

Examples: Again, my mind is working on a by example basis on this rough draft.

ÜBERGEEK: Übergeeks are Gods among Men. They are instantly masters of everything they touch or do. Their vision is clear. They are wide and deep in nearly equal proportions. These are the ones to which we all strive to become, but most will fall far short.

Examples: These examples are the easiest, because they often become famous. Tom Kelliher. Sergei Brin and Larry Page. Bruce Schneier. Linus Torvalds. Al Gore. Stephen Hawking. Shakespeare.

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*Official for those that subscribe to it, natch.