My German Professor
2009 March 30
by qkslvrwolf
Ok, so I don’t know if he’s actually a professor or not.
What I do know is that he is tall, blond, and stereotypically german in a actually positive, but negative seeming way. He’s (mildly) psychotic. He’s (seemingly, but not really) violent. He’s brash and crude.
Of course, more of this can be chalked up to the fact that he’s ex-bundeswahr more than his germanness. :-)
I’m gonna try and keep better track of his quotes, but a smattering of generic examples.
- He repeatedly calls anyone he thinks is stupid (not in the class, but references to people out side of the class retarded. (His word choice, verbatim)
- He told us that the rheinland area of germany (where I’m at) is full of retards, and also mentioned that they had thought about making it a parking lot, but that had fallen through.
- He told us in order to get the sound of ch in words with long vowels (a u and au, I’m missing one…), that we should go home and choke our significant other. The sound that would emerge is what we’re going for.
- He also repeatedly referenced choking us out if we mispronounced certain words, to include pronouncing them like a pfalsich local (ie., the people we’re most likely to talk to.) This especially includes Vogelweh. (fogulveh, in real haphazardly done amateur phonetics).
- I was able to go through what the basic (real basic) grammatical structures were, so he tried to get me to jump on gerund (I failed.) Just after that, he started talking about a dipthong, and then said to me that I shouldn’t get excited, he wasn’t talking about thongs. And oh by the way, rhineland women were lawfully barred from wearing thongs, because their asses are too big.
In short, he’s frickin’ hilarious. Class is going to be fun. And not studying, I am QUITE sure, will be met by a merciless mocking. Which is awesome.
from → People, Stories from Germany
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How many others in the class? The “prof” sounds great! Should be lots of fun.
Oh, for those of us who are TOTALLY clueless about German, would you be so kind as to include quick translations in parentheses after the German words? Thank you! :-)
I don’t think I actually posted any german words up here…minus the regional areas or town names…
“bundeswahr”? “pfalsich”? (Does it simply mean “locals”?) “Vogelweh”?
Bundeswahr = german army (or national guard? not sure), pfalsich is a term for things/people regionally affiliated with the Rheinland-Pfalz area, in which ramstein is located. And Vogelweh is one of the main american areas hereabouts.
Love it…. you’ve described him pretty well. Jawohl!